What’s Missing from the Empathy Conversation

We hear a lot about empathy these days. Barack Obama spoke repeatedly about the need for it. It shows up in corporate mission statements. There are dozens of books, TED talks, and articles written with a rallying call for more empathy in the world. I’m glad empathy is getting more airtime. If there was ever a need for more empathy, it’s today in our divisive political…


20 Things I’m Celebrating That Happened to Me in 2016

What a year, amirite? Like everyone else in my sphere, I’ve been feeling the weight of the election and the uncertainty of the future. It’s been a very full 52 weeks. I cannot think of another year of my life that has been so full of change on a personal level. It’s felt like 2016 has been the year that I disassembled and learned what…


Teaching with My Professional Soulmate

I’ve had a powerful last six weeks. If you’ve been following my adventures on Instagram, you’d know I’ve been touring the US and teaching with my professional soulmate, Louise Bourchier. She’s based in Auckland, so we don’t get to see each other as often as we’d like. Louise and I met while we were both getting our Masters in Public Health in Melbourne, Australia (click…


Summer 2016 Sex & Relationships Workshops

I’m delighted to announce that this summer, I get to reunite with my professional soulmate Louise Bourchier and teach some workshops with her. New York City: July 6th: Pleasure Upgrade at The Pleasure Chest UES FREE We’ll discuss multiple aspects of having great sex, including ways to better articulate what you really want in bed. We’ll also describe how to do a sex lab: a dedicated time…


What Manually Pleasuring Your iPhone Can Teach You about Female Orgasms: A Review of OMGYES

If you haven’t yet heard of OMGYES, let me have the pleasure of introducing you. It’s a website devoted to teaching specific, evidence-based techniques for delighting vulvas. I think it’s a fabulous resource for upgrading your masturbation and for learning how to pleasure female partners. OMGYES made headlines earlier this year after Emma Watson mentioned it during an interview with Gloria Steinem, so it’s getting…


8 of My Self-Care Strategies That You’re Welcome to Steal

Recently, someone called me “The Self-Care Queen.” It’s one of my favorite compliments I’ve ever received. Self-care is absolutely necessary if we want to have the bandwidth to fully show up for others. As a chronic migraineur, I have to be especially vigilant about my self-care because if I ignore it, I will end up in the pain cave, of no use to anyone (and,…


#Migrainegrams: Things to Say That Are More Empathetic Than “I Hope You Feel Better”

Most of the people who come to my workshops and read my articles are interested in how to make their romantic relationships better. But as I’ve been talking more about what it’s like to live with chronic migraine, I’ve been getting a lot more questions from other migraineurs about their friends and family. These fellow migraineurs tell me about how when they share what’s going on…


“Anti-Empathy”: The 5 Cockblocks to Connection

Being seen and heard is one of my favorite experiences. There’s nothing quite like that moment where you feel like someone is totally listening and making space for your feels. It’s empathy in action. My most treasured friendships have this feeling in abundance, but I recognize that empathy can be a scarce resource in many people’s lives. Some people tell me that when they are…


The Migraine Cave: Where I’ve Been Lately

I’ve been getting some lovely emails from folks asking, “Kate, where’d you go? Why has your blog gone dark?” So here I am to explain my absence and let you know what I’m up to next. As some of you may have guessed, I’ve been having an especially rough time with my migraines. In the last half of last year, I had an eight-week continuous…


What I Wish I’d Learned: Sex is a Team Effort

JoEllen Notte is the writer and sex educator behind The Redhead Bedhead. While she’s busy “saving the world from mediocre sex,” she took the time to share what she wishes she had learned earlier about sex and relationships: I wish I had known that sex is something partners engage in together. Younger me definitely viewed sex as an adversarial situation, one where men wanted and pursued it…

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